Offstumped – Commentary on Indian Politics

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Politics and Public Policy in India

Blue Turbanitis

Blue Turbanitis – is an affliction of the mind that is usually accompanied by selective amnesia, indecision and the construction of an alternate reality.

Symptoms

  • Suffers uncontrollable urges to pass the buck
  • Demonstrates an Inability to control decisions by others
  • Compulsively analyzes to rationalize mistakes
  • When confronted lapses into fits of paranoia over some guy in Gujarat

Tests

  • Responsibility dip stick test – Select a random issue, probe the subject’s willingness to take responsibility, measure the time till subject expresses an uncontrollable urge to pass the buck. Also measure degree of impairment of subject’s ability to control decisions by others.
  • Leadership Litmus test – Select a random issue, confront the subject’s past conduct on the issue. Quarantine the subject in an intellectually sterile environment. Monitor the subject’s behavior for any obsessive compulsive analysis or rationalization. Introduce non-invasive interventions to the subject’s sterile environment.  Observe the color of paranoia changing to Saffron in a westward direction.

Treatment

  • No known treatments

Prognosis

  • Sphinx like silence usually helps to be in denial.
  • Split Vision (two Indias) can also help defocus the mind

Complications

  • electile dysfunction during early stages
  • acute Executive Delinquency as the condition worsens

Prevention

  • Area of active Stem Cell Research to genetically boost political competence of the NG (Nehru-Gandhi) chromosome

Filed under: betrayal of aam admi, Fiction, UPA-II Critical Appraisal

10 Responses

  1. sanjeevirao says:

    Though appearing hillarious,PM MMs’ character is portrayed very eloquently. Good work.

  2. hinduchap says:

    Treatment : Daily dose of strong Saffron sprays…..

  3. [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Offstumped, Center Right, sreekunjmandapam, pratik bhandari, Sanjeevi Rao and others. Sanjeevi Rao said: Read n posted comment.RT @ranganaathan: Hilarious MUST Read RT @centerofright: RT @offstumped: Blue Turbanitis http://wp.me/ptnDV-W7 || [...]

  4. Indian Pundit says:

    Off stumped writes:

    “Area of active Stem Cell Research to genetically boost political competence of the NG chromosome”

    Hahahahahahahahaha :-) you really want that Mr.Offstumped????

    i thought the screwing right-wing “iron man” gene received in 2004 and 2009 was enough…but NO….you want another one in 2014!!

    Awesome.

  5. K Mulla says:

    tooo…. good. It a taste of comedy with some serious prognosis.

  6. two_aanas says:

    Nice …really awsome. summarizes PM entire press conference and it should serve as prep guide for Editors for next one

  7. Sahana says:

    Indian Pundit

    It ceases to amaze me that you are a big fan of MMS and Sonia clan several scams later and slowing up the Indian economy big time.

  8. Indian Pundit says:

    Sahana

    i am nobody’s fan.
    i am just amazed at the audacity of our friends from Right .

  9. K Mulla says:

    @Indian Pundit.

    Nice. then stay amazed. We can do with a dissenting vote on everything that happens here.

  10. counterview says:

    good one.

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Opinions expressed on this site using the alias Offstumped are the blogger's personal opinions and do not in any way reflect the views of the blogger's Employers.